This is an incredibly hard post for me to write, I have had so many struggles this year – mainly with depression, anxiety and an undiagnosed disorder. I have never felt so alone in all my life. Having no friends makes life very hard, and then feeling like you are burdening people makes it even harder to let them friendships blossom. BUT.. I know I am not alone in feeling this way – and if this reaches out to just one other that doesn’t see the light I will take that as a win.
My whole life I have felt different, suffered socially – never able to make lasting connections and always connecting better with older people. My life has been hindered by an undiagnosed condition and I have received no help which has led to severe bouts of anxiety and depression and a complete lack of confidence in myself.
Now, although nothing has changed really, there is one person I have met this year that has changed my life. Noelle, swooped In when I was at my lowest, let me know she was here for me and wasn’t going nowhere and I could always, always speak to her no matter what. She has made me feel better about myself and value myself as a person, she has given me the energy to push and keep pushing for those answers and assessments and FINALLY the doctors are now referring me.
In the UK we do not celebrate ThanksGiving like the Americans but if we did, What I would be thankful for is meeting and connecting with Noelle and hopefully building a lasting friendship.
I am a difficult person to deal with at the best of the times, due to my BPD (undiagnosed but I know me) and due to the traumas in my life I find it very difficult to make friends and function each day. I often feel extremely low moods and can not be bothered, with anything.
A lot of people have no idea I have these issues going on in my life, and why? Because we mask them, we try to fit in amongst the crowd which is extremely exhausting in itself. Don’t judge anyone on appearance- you have no idea what they may dealing or struggling with beneath the surface and anyone who has a hidden disability WILL be hiding it to appear like everyone else.
This year, I had too many traits appear to the surface and it has made me struggle so much, but Noelle has always been there for me and made me want to carry on and think of myself in a positive light!!
Girl, your amazing and I love ya 🤜🏼❤️🤛🏼 you are an amazing friend and I honestly don’t know where I would be without you!!
If anyone is struggling, reach out!! Talk!! Trust me it really helps!!
I am always here for anyone who needs to talk!